Rilla's Inheritance Chapter 11

Chapter 11 No-one had any problems with me going out with an escort – which was how I met the rest of the Tallin clan. Only five of them left in total – that was hard to come to terms with. Adri Tallin had thanked me for Poppy and Quinoa, and asked if I would be willing to bear one more Tallin family.
“And the other two can marry two of your daughters, if they are willing. And even if not, we have many Tallin daughters now – they can help build up the clan, and learn the Tallin skills. Did you know that some of them are earning their markings?”
I hadn’t known that, and made a mental note to look next time I saw one of my Tallin daughters. Of the three of them, Jovander was the one I got on with the best. He was a writer, and had a very winning way with words, but it was his shyness and sincerity that won me over. When I found myself being sick a while later, I had a very good idea why. We had two daughters, Sorrel and Rose, and I felt that the Tallin clan now had a hope of coming back from the edge of vanishing altogether. I was beginning to see that the clans weren’t just about how they looked, but about what they knew as well, about skills and knowledge and ability. And it seemed as thought the Xydin had been the clan that enabled all the other clans to get along together. But where was the Xydin clan now? Again and again, my thought went to Zoe, Amaryllis and Yolande. Many feet below ground, Zoe, Yolande and Amaryllis were adapting to a different lifestyle. They were using their enforced break from normal life to learn new things – the guitar, in Zoe’s case – or to continue honing skills they already had: painting in the case of Amaryllis. Besides improving her ability, she was fed up with how gloomy the place looked. The three of them badgered and bullied Armiger into going out of the mine and getting hold of paint, and polish and decorating equipment generally, and they set about restoring the place somewhat. Amaryllis’s painting took pride of place in the “dining room” and once they had sanded down, polished, re-waxed and re-covered the chairs, painted the walls, and cleaned up all the woodwork, it didn’t seem such a forbidding and depressing room. Amaryllis promptly set to work on another painting, this time for the kitchen. This room got a face-lift as well, and suddenly it was no longer unpleasant to sit around studying and discussing together.
Armiger seemed to know a great deal about Xydin ways, and one day Yolande asked him how he knew so much.
“My wife was a Xydin.” His answer was uncharacteristically short for him. But eventually he opened up a little to them, and told them a bit about her.
“We thought we’d escaped the plague – we were a long way away when it broke out. We thought they’d be one Xydin woman left, to be the next Adrina, but then she caught it, despite all my efforts to keep her safe. After she died, I went off for a while on my own, then when I came back, which was just before – no, just after – your mother came here, I started looking for her brothers. Hardin and Sellinder – but I haven’t been able to find them anywhere. And before you ask, no, they’re not among the Xydin in the isolation labs!” My other Xydin daughters had finally grown into teenagers. Adri Adrin had kept them as children for as long as he could, in part hoping to repair the damage done to them while they were younger. Xanthe, Querida and Verity seemed to have recovered well, but poor U was still struggling against the influence “he” had over her.
Yolande, Amaryllis and Zoe had been whisked away so suddenly, they hadn’t had time to try and change her face for her, and now U had to wait until they were back. I went round to visit as often as I could, and she was such a valiant little fighter.
“The only time I really feel whole is when I’m singing or making music,” she said to me.
“The rest of the time I feel as if I’m being pulled in half all the time. I can feel “him” trying to have all of me, trying to dominate me. But I don’t want him to!” I pulled her close to me. “My poor, valiant little darling. We will all try to help you. We will hold on to you. And I can give you something to help, if you want it.”
“What? What can you give me?” “A name. I can give you a name. Unity. It means wholeness, it means undivided. You are Unity.” Alas, the last of my Xydin daughters had not grown up well. She was no nicer, no kinder and no happier than she had ever been. Kel and Cat weren’t going to give up on her, but it was one long battle, day in, day out. I was getting out and about a bit more because I had a bodyguard! (And my hair had finally grown a little bit more as well!) Adri Mellin saw how unhappy I was, shut in behind the walls round my garden, and got Adri Valdin to find me a congenial bodyguard. We were still careful about where we went, and we didn’t go out after dark, but it was nice to have some semblance of normality back. Tor Valdin, my bodyguard, had all the Valdin charm and presence, plus an unusually un-Valdin awareness of other people’s point of view.
“I know we don’t do family the way you do it, Rilla,” he said one day, “but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter to us. It does. Hugely. We just do it differently, that’s all.” When I went to see Eloise, a while later, it was Tor Valdin’s babies that she was feeling. And Eloise’s sister, Gabriella, was getting used to Yolande and Zoe’s absence, getting used to the new space in her life. She and Yan were finally both ready to consider trying for a child of their own. This would be the first baby of a new generation, the first child of the colony for many years. And the biggest sign that they were ready was that they had changed one of the girls’ bedrooms into a baby’s room.
“I know we’re not even pregnant yet,” Gabriella said, “and normally I wouldn’t do this – decorate before I even know if I’m going to be able to conceive. But I had to let go of Yolande and Zoe somehow – and this was the somehow.” Gabriella and Yan were thinking of trying for a baby – and I had a feeling that where Gabriella led, her sisters would follow. Maybe my child-bearing days were over – well, not physically, but maybe I didn’t need to have any more children unless I ever decided that I wanted a husband and family of my own.
Tor Valdin’s girls were an easy delivery, as always, and I was surprised when I didn’t bounce back to health as I always had done. One thing to be said for the medi-suit; it kept me in excellent health. But I just kept on feeling ill. Anthor Verdin, who had called round to meet Unity and teach her some more songs, commented on it.
“Rilla, you’re looking grey. What’s wrong with you?” It was that collar. Adri Adrin checked me out, and that was the only possible cause.
“Get pregnant again, Rilla, and that will be the acid test. But I’m pretty sure it’s that collar.”
And he was right. As soon as I was pregnant again, all my illness disappeared, and I felt fine apart from the usual backache and nausea at the beginning. Adri Adrin promised he would see if he could do anything – after all, I couldn’t be forever pregnant, however much my children were wanted. Since the walls had gone up round my house, the children were moving out earlier than before – I didn’t want them growing up in a walled-in compound. When Anthor was delightedly feeling my stomach, round with his children, I only had my Valdin daughters, Tansy and Umbel with me. It was a bit strange, not having any teenage daughters around (and lonely beyond belief at times, not having Amaryllis). But my other daughters visited – and I had so many offers of help, should it all get Too Much For Me.
Unity visited a lot, and Anthor was still teaching her songs. They sang one for me as a duet one night.

I planted a garden in springtime,
When each bird was making a nest.
I planted a garden in springtime,
And my sweet said she loved me the best.

The words echoed round the walls, the tune in a minor key and oddly plaintive for such cheerful words. Unity took up the melody and Anthor harmonised with her.

I planted a garden in summer,
When the days were so warm and so long.
I planted a garden in summer,
And our love grew deep and so strong.

I planted a garden in autumn,
When the fruit hung on every tree.
I planted a garden in autumn,
And my child was set down on my knee. This time, Anthor sang, and Unity hummed a soft accompaniment to his singing.
Then they began the last verse, and suddenly tears filled my eyes, for I realised that this was a song for all the men of the colony who had had wives or sweethearts before the plague struck.

I planted a garden in winter,
When the earth lies so heavy and cold.
I planted a garden in winter.
My love did not live to grow old. We all went inside afterwards and Unity, for whom the song was nothing more than a song listened to my bump and felt the babies kick inside me.
“Rilla,” she said, somewhat hesitantly. “Will anyone ever love me, and want me? I can’t believe anyone ever will.”
I was filled with anger at the way her self-confidence had been sapped. But before I could say anything, Anthor broke in.
“With a voice like yours? Unity, you could charm the birds off the trees, and pull the heart out of the middle of a man. Just you wait, my dear, until you’re fully grown.”
Her face lightened, and I added, “And don’t forget, Amaryllis and Zoe and Yolande will help you. They haven’t abandoned you; they just had to go away so fast.” I gave birth to three girls, Willow, Viola and Xyris. Seeing Anthor’s strong arms holding his children was lovely.
“We weren’t even married when she fell ill,” he told me. “The wedding was to be in a few months’ time. She went to visit her family to make her dress – and she never came back. I never saw her again.” Amaryllis and Zoe hadn’t forgotten Unity – or U as they still called her, not knowing that I had given her a name.
“When we get out of here…” Zoe said.
Amaryllis agreed. “And I feel more confident that we can change things, don’t you? Can you feel a difference in yourself?” Yolande was enjoying their life, much to her own surprise. She liked Armiger, and his understanding of their nature. She even enjoyed his mean training routines, and the challenges he set her. Zoe tried her hardest, but her heart just wasn’t in it. Armiger was determined that she should persevere though.
“You never know when you might have to defend yourself – or someone else.” Tor Valdin took me out for a walk after the triplets were born, and I met up with Gabriella. She was worried that I wasn’t looking well, but although I made light of it, and pointed out that I had only just had three babies, I knew she was right. However, her own concerns took her mind off me, for which I was grateful.
“Rilla, we haven’t conceived yet. Maybe there’s something wrong!”
I looked at her. “What did Adri Adrin say?”
She blushed a little, and hung her head. “That there’s nothing to worry about at all, and we have only really just begun trying. But you seem to conceive so quickly and easily.”
I laughed at her. “Gabriella, I’m wearing a medi-suit. I’m primed for quick and easy conception. The whole point of the medi-suit is that I will get pregnant easily, deliver easily and recover fast. You’re just normal, my dear. And you’ll probably only have one baby at a time, and you might even have – gasp! – a boy.”
“Oh!!” Her eyes went round with surprise. “I never thought of that! I suppose I just thought I’d be exactly like you – but I won’t be, will I?”
I grinned at her. “No, you won’t. And you know what – the less you worry, and the more you two just enjoy each other, the better it will be all round.” This time she blushed really deeply.
“Okay. I’ll take your advice. Thank you, Rilla.” And she went off, and I let Tor help me home. Tansy and Umbel were ready to leave me. Not just because they were old enough to go and live with their father, but because they were independent enough. They were both so resolute, and self-contained. I was beginning to realise just how very different the Valdin were, with their thirst for adventure and exploration. Martha and Naomi had started me thinking about, Tor had explained more to me, and I had begun to look at my Valdin girls in a different light. My older Valdin girls were ready to move on. Martha’s comment about not minding marrying a Verdin hadn’t been entirely academic! Barc Verdin was rather smitten with her – and she was more than ready to go plant-hunting with him all over the planet. And the well-muscled arms that were tight round Naomi’s waist belonged to one Ostin Valdin. Apparently, when he asked her to marry him, she threw herself into his arms! Naomi and Ostin’s living accommodation was basic in the extreme. But they were happy. They were also living there for the moment so that they could comb that area for any sign of the missing Xydin – then they would move on somewhere else. Naomi was utterly content, and Ostin looked pretty pleased with himself too. Martha and Barc’s living accommodation was slightly less spartan – but only slightly! I dropped in on Fern and Erica to catch up with them, and to talk about the two weddings. I realised, as they chatted to me, that I was the only older woman in all of the clans. When Gabriella conceived, and if she had a daughter, that child would have so many women to turn to – but my daughters had only me.
Besides asking my advice, they gave me some – get myself better! I was looking ill again, they said – go and ask Adri Adrin what to do. Adri Adrin had been working long and hard to try and figure out what was wrong with me. He couldn’t. The only thing that alleviated my symptoms was being pregnant. I was worried about bringing too many children into the colony though – my daughters would be having children soon.
“Rilla, there are so many of us you have never even met yet. We spread out after the plague, to minimise the risk of cross-infection should it break out again. You could have a hundred daughters, and there would be husbands and families for each daughter who wanted to marry.” So when I went to visit Laura, who had two exciting things she wanted to show me, I was pregnant again. I hadn’t realised just how many lonely Adrin men there were.
The first exciting thing Laura wanted to show me was that they’d designed a new fabric! A tasteful check.
“But it takes longer to weave than this basic cloth, so we can only use it for trimming at the moment. But it’s a start, Rilla!” And her next look-at-this was her first Tallin markings! – in her case, for writing. Then Kirsty came rushing out to show me hers – music this time. Turned out that each marking had a very specific meaning, and you only earned them when you were suitably advanced in something. I was impressed. I was less impressed by Adri Tallin’s new outfit. In fact I laughed at him. He pretended to be offended, but he wasn’t really.
“But we are feeding ourselves, and clothing ourselves, even though we are growing in numbers. Little Hope-Bringer, look how you’ve changed things. People are even singing again!” Alkanet came round to see me. I was rounder by then, and clearly pregnant – and feeling just fine. He came round to give me the benefit of his wisdom, but he started off by just listening to me sounding off.
“I can’t just be pregnant all the time! I mean, it doesn’t seem right! And why has this suddenly happened? I thought Adri Adrin fixed it when I got rescued and came back home! What’s going on?” Eventually, I let him get a word in edgeways, and he dealt with all my points one by one.
“Adri Adrin says your body will cope fine with the pregnancies, thanks to the medi-suit. Not one of your children has ever been unwanted – Rilla, there are queues of people who would be so happy if you would give them a child. But no-one wants to rush you or push you – however, if you need to be pregnant, it’s not a problem.
Now, that collar. I don’t know how that Xydin managed to make it work against its nature. I think the fact that you aren’t of the clans has both made this possible, because you are different, and saved you because its effect on one of us would have been even more potent. And I think the other thing that has protected you for so long is Amaryllis’s presence.”
I looked at him questioningly.
“You didn’t choose to have her – but you chose to love her, and to rear her well. And she has always loved you, and cared for you. She has always wanted your best. I think that is what has kept that collar from being used to hurt you. It was as soon as she went that you began to be ill.” Before he left, he felt the babies kicking inside me. “What clan are they?” he asked.
“Adrin. I didn’t know that there were so many Adrin men. I’ve given the Tallin all the daughters they want, but the Adrin are so short on girls! And so many of them are so lonely – they’re not like the Mellin, with their big extended families. I don’t think they work like that.” “You’re right. The Adrin do tend to live in much smaller groups. And they love their families in a very deep and quiet way – their family is what brings the sweetness into their lives. Will you have another Adrin pregnancy after this one?”
“Maybe. I still find it all a bit much – the whole idea, I mean. I was all set to stop having babies. But probably another Adrin pregnancy. Or any of the others, really – I’ve enjoyed them all, even the Valdin ones, now I understand them better. Never a Xydin baby though, never a Xydin one. Not again.” That bump that Alkanet Verdin had felt turned out to be three babies, Zinnia, Yarrow and Amethyst. Sil Adrin, their father, was up to his eyes in some really demanding work on the test results from those three Xydin, so Ger, his friend, came round to help me with the children. Sil, he said, was devastated not to be able to be there, but the cultures they had grown were going to decay if they were left, and he really was the only one who could do the work…I cut short his apologies after a while: I believed him!
Then I made him listen to my worries about having babies just to keep myself from falling ill. Although ill was too small a word for how I had felt at my worst; as though all of who I was as a person was being stolen from me. “But it isn’t like that, Rilla.” Ger was cuddling Amethyst in a very competent way. Later, he told me about his sister and her two daughters, and how close he had been to his nieces.
“These children are wanted. They’re not just here to help you! There are so many of us who really want a family again – these have been some very long and lonely years, you know. Don’t worry – it’s a plus if having them helps you too.” And later, after he’d helped me get all three of them fed and into bed, he reached out and stroked my face very gently.
“Don’t worry, Rilla. Don’t be afraid. We’re all going to do everything we can to help you.” And so it was with Ger Adrin’s children that I was pregnant, as we played with Sil’s children in the (rather small and walled-in) garden in front of the house. And as soon as I was pregnant again, I felt fine. Among my younger Xydin girls, Verity was emerging as a natural leader. Since she had asked for her name, her transformation had been complete. You could tell that the mysterious “he” had no hold over her at all. And she was living up to her name – totally truthful and transparent.She’d asked Unity over, and the two of them were catching up with each other’s lives – and going a bit deeper than that as well. “I love all the fieldcraft work we do! And I can beat everyone, even Andor!” Verity wasn’t boasting, she was just so happy that she was doing something well. Andor’s grimace of disgust was because he had to admit that she had surpassed him. “And your singing is amazing too – I hear about it from all sorts of people.” Unity’s face wouldn’t show a blush, but she was touched, and said so. “And Querida is so good at painting, and Xanthe can make anything grow apparently – but I think that’s as far as our talents go. Unity, I don’t think any of us are going to be Adrina later on.”
Unity was hugely relieved. “Oh, thank goodness for that! I’ve been dreading the idea – but knowing that it would be for the good of the clan made me think that I ought to be ready and willing if need be. Why do you say so?”
“I’ve been asking everyone I can – and making them answer me honestly! Our growth was so messed around with when we were little, we just haven’t developed properly – Xydin-properly, I mean; otherwise we’re fine. I made Adri Adrin run scans and all sorts on me, and compare them with ones he did on Zoe and Yolande a while back. There’s a difference.” “There’s nothing wrong with us is there – we’re not going to go mauval?”
“No! I asked Adri Adrin that as well, and he says we can’t in fact – our specially Xydin bits of brain are under-developed because we were grown up too early. That’s why we had such a long childhood compared to everyone else – he was hoping they might still mature. But he thinks that’s why we’re all very very good at something; it’s the Xydin in us finding a way out.”
Unity nodded, and then frowned. “But what about W? She’s still going on and on about being Adrina.”
“I know. Someone’s going to have to get through to her. But I’ll try if you’ll help me.”
“Agreed.”
And they hugged and parted. I had three children in high chairs – and my kitchen/living room/dining room had been repainted and refreshed! It had been getting rather shabby in parts, but now it looked lovely again. The highchairs had been recovered too – with the special all-new checky fabric. Potty-training was still a bit of a smelly job though!