The apartment we were staying in before the recording session was very fancy – not as upmarket as dad’s had been, but still several steps up from the fairly basic places we’d stayed on the tour. I was definitely nervous beforehand – so much depended on this. My future, Elf’s future…everything was up in the air.
Chris was really pleased afterwards though. He reckoned it couldn’t have gone better, and I really did myself justice.
I phoned my mother to tell her all about it (and then my dad) and she was really pleased too. And cautious as well – she said she was coming over to meet Chris and talk to him. My dad said the same as well – though he was more interested in seeing the next contract – so I had to arrange for them to come on separate dates.
After they had both been and talked to Chris, they both talked to me. Interestingly, they both said the same thing, but from two different perspectives. They both reckoned Chris was out to make money from me. Dad thought this was a perfectly reasonable way of doing business, and said that the contract was fair enough, and I could sign it without being worried that I was being tied to anything outrageous. Mum doesn’t like people who focus on making money as their first priority – one of the reasons why their marriage broke up in the end.
They both also said that I would have to be committed to this, if I wanted to go ahead with it. Dad saw it from the perspective of the contract, whereas Mum said I shouldn’t put my hand to the plough and then look back. But I guess them both agreeing about things made me feel sure that this was the right thing to do.
Chris went out, and I sat down to write to Elf again. There was a wide view from the apartment, and it echoed the wide view that was opening up in my heart. When she got this letter, she’d definitely be in touch with me, I knew that! And soon I could go and see her – Chris had a drummer he wanted me to meet and do a session with, to see if we suited each other, and then I was going to see Elf!
It was five days later that I finally got to Elf’s house, and I hadn’t heard from her. Chris had phoned the office to check if there was a letter there for me, but there wasn’t. I went straight to her address, but the house was empty, and there was a To Let sign up outside.
I booked a viewing – I wanted to see inside, to see if there were any clues to Elf’s whereabouts. The house was completely empty. I ‘accidentally’ noticed the loose floor tile, and pulled it up. There was nothing underneath it, and I knew Elf wouldn’t have left her stuff behind.
I found a neighbour, and questioned her. She couldn’t tell me much – I got the impression that Gerda was none too friendly – but she did notice that Gerda had got a letter one day, turned quite pale reading it, and then moved out the very next day.
“All of them? When was this?”
“Let me think…about three weeks ago, I think. Yes, because that was the day my Sally went into labour three weeks early, and I had to go and look after the other two, but only overnight, because the baby was a nice size – seven and a half pounds, so it was a blessing she started early, because can you imagine what a size the baby would have been three weeks later – and when I came back, they’d gone, and Mrs Jones round the corner said they left the day before…”
It was another ten minutes before she went, and left me alone with my thoughts. By that time I knew more about Sally’s labour than I’d ever wanted to know. Three weeks ago. Just after I’d written to Elf, telling her what my dad had said about her assets and what should have happened to them. But why would that have made Elf go away? I looked at the mailbox, and opened it on an impulse. My last letter to Elf – the one telling her about the recording session, the contract, the income and that I was coming back for her very soon now, was in there.
And then it was the beginning of the week, and my new job started. I was a bit nervous at first – not of the work: I was used to washing up and clearing up, but of the people. I needn’t have been. Joe was really friendly and cheerful, and so was everyone else. It all got a bit frantic from time to time, but even the swearing was good-natured.
The day was long and I finished it after nightfall, tired and stiff, but Joe had been encouraging and said I’d coped nicely. And I’d been fed – I’d tried to pick the healthiest options for the sake of the baby, and I’d drunk lots of milk. This might just work.
I had new clothes! Half my first pay packet had gone on them (the other half I was saving to pay the rent) but I was warm enough for the first time in ages. And in any case, my old ones were so skimpy it would have been obvious that I was beginning to put on a little weight. My bust was definitely bigger, but I wasn’t much thicker round the waist. Not yet, anyway. I read everything I could about pregnancy – sooner or later, I was going to have to register with a local doctor as well. But not just yet. At least I had an address to give the doctor – I was so grateful to Ma Woodward.
A whole bunch of people moved in next door! Ma Woodward was right when she said those rooms would fill up fast once the university term started. They were all Ph.D. students – and, as it happened, all starting at once, so they’d be here for the next three or four years.“As long as we can hack the pace!” Niamh said, laughing. “It’s a tough ride, a Ph. D.”
Besides Niamh (The Development of Imagery in Anglo-Saxon Poetry), there was David (Tunnelling Effects in GaAs/AlGaAS Quantum Cascade Lasers), Pierre and Priya (Candida Infections in Neonates). It was a regular United Nations, with Scotland, Canada, Africa and India all represented.
David seemed quite shy, but Pierre (Sport and Status in Greek and Roman Civilisation) was funny, charming and outgoing almost effortlessly. It was nice having neighbours, and they were all very friendly towards me. I had a sneaking feeling that Ma Woodward might have told them to look out for me a bit, but I wasn’t going to complain about that.
Sometimes, when I came home from work late at night and tired, I wondered how I was ever going to manage with a baby as well. But I promised my child – promised with a fierce and protective love – that no matter what, I would take care of her, and not treat her the way Gerda had treated me, or Wayne, or Jason or Tamara. And to be honest, she might have favoured Chablis, but Chablis had turned out to be a horrible child. So I wouldn’t spoil my child either.
Priya was the quietest of the students next door, but she was also the most observant. She’d spotted that I was pregnant and, very tactfully, let me know that if there was anything she could do to help me, then she would. It was Priya who helped me get registered with a local doctor, so that I could get the ante-natal check ups that I needed.“I’m not a medic, I’m a biologist, but my research is medical and so I can ask any questions I want. Especially as I’m in the maternity unit most of the time! If you want to know anything, ask me, and I’ll ask around.” It was Priya as well who told me about the second-hand store on the other side of town.
“I couldn’t bring much with me – just clothes really – so I come here a lot for odds and ends. The stock keeps changing, so it’s worth checking it out regularly.”
There was all sorts of stuff in there – a dining table that would have filled my whole house, with some very weird-looking chairs, a whole sitting-room’s worth of furniture, a dresser with some elegant china in it. I couldn’t imagine ever having enough space for any of this stuff.
And then, tucked away up a corner, I found what I was looking for. A cot – shabby and neglected, but I reckoned I could sand it down and re-paint it and find or make new bedding for it. I’d have to buy a new mattress for it anyway, Priya said. It was more than I could afford at the moment, but Priya said I could put a deposit down on it and then pay weekly until I owned it.
I arranged to do that with the owner of the store, and we shook hands on the deal.“I’ll mark it up SOLD straight away. Though mind you, I don’t think there’s exactly going to be a queue to buy it. If you miss two weeks’ payment in a row, then it goes back on sale, I keep the deposit and you get your payments up to that date back – okay?”
I quite often met up with my next door neighbours in the library.“Well, it’s near,” Niamh said. “And it’s a change of scenery. I can work here just as well as in my room. I don’t need to be in the department all the time.”
David said he did need to be in the department.
“It’s my Sun workstation. I can’t do anything without it.” I was never quite sure when he was joking and when he was being serious. What he liked about the library was their amazing collection of Whodunnits.
“I don’t think their stock got updated. They’ve got the best collection of pre-war whodunnits I’ve ever seen.”
“So who would you recommend for me to read?”
The only post that ever came was bills. I had thought of trying to get in touch with Jasper again – but that dreadful letter had been so final. It looked like Gerda had been right all along. I hadn’t thrown it away though. If anything ever happened to me, then my child was going to need someone to take care of her. I would have to make a will, and I would include this letter with it. But hopefully that would be a bridge she’d never have to cross – losing her parent.I knew how much that hurt.
No comments:
Post a Comment