Amber was round at Laura’s house, in her bedroom, which was dominated by an enormous greenstone poster.“Mum won’t let me send a CD in! And I don’t know why not!”
“Maybe she thinks it’s all a bit dodgy,” Laura said thoughtfully. “I tell you what, Amber, I’ll ask my dad about it all, and if he thinks it’s safe and so on. After all, he’s been a fan for ages, he knows a bit - well, okay, a lot – about the band. And he’s sensible, my dad.”
“Yes. And so what?” Amber said, a little rudely, but she was so disappointed.
But Laura remained unruffled.“And then if he says it’s okay and nothing to worry about, you can do your CD and send it in but use my address!”
Amber’s face began to light up, as she realised what a good idea this was.
“So if dad says he’d be happy for me to do it, then you could as well. I think your mum’s just being a bit over-protective, maybe – or maybe she’s right. But if she’s wrong, what would you put on the CD?”
Amber knew the answer to that one.
“They don’t want pop covers, and they want unaccompanied – I guess so they can really hear people’s voices. So I’d do that John Donne poem Mr Ainslie wrote the setting for, and the On My Own from Les Mis.” “What’s the Donne? I haven’t heard it.”
Amber stood up and sang the first few lines.
“Go and catch a falling star.
Get with child a mandrake root.
Tell me where the lost years are…”
Her voice hung in the air, the notes clear and rounded.
“Wow! Yes, they’d be a nice contrast, and really show off what you can do.”
Amber grinned. “That’s what I thought!”
“This one’s good. She definitely deserves an audition.”“Yes – and better than that, I think she’s given us a title. Go and catch a falling star – that’s what my mother’s whole project is about, isn’t it? Those girls out there – they could shine like stars, but they’re being dragged down into the gutter for lack of opportunities.”
“I’ll put her on the definite list then. Good job you’ve got me to help you with the paper work, Jasper.”
“You know I hate admin! And you’re so good at it!”
Pete laughed.
“Do you think I’m doing the right thing?”“Amber, it’s fine. Dad checked it out. It’s not dodgy. Go and do the best you can. Have you got your tickets? Don’t forget to pick up your guitar. Now go!”
“Good luck! And see if you can beat Deedee. I hear that she got one of her dad’s friends to edit her top notes on the recording, so with a bit of luck a live audition will catch her out! If your mum phones, I’ll cover for you.”
“She’s out with David all day – they’re going to go to the art gallery, the park, out for dinner and to a film as well probably. She was really grateful to me for saying I’d stay with you overnight so she didn’t have to worry about me being in on my own. I feel a bit mean about deceiving her.”“But you’re not doing anything bad. And if you get in, she’ll be so proud of you. Just go, Amber!”
The auditions were a surprise to Amber. She’d expected hundreds of people, but one of the chaperones explained to them that there were going to be a series of regional auditions. Deedee was there, dressed up to the nines and very sarcastic about Amber’s jeans.“Looks matter in this business, you know. Well, obviously you don’t.”
“Voices matter more, said one of the other chaperones mildly, and Amber was comforted. The sight of all the equipment made her nervous at first, but once she started singing, her confidence returned.
For the audition they’d been asked to have a third accompanied song ready if needed.“Do you need the pianist?” a chaperone asked Amber, but she said no, she’d accompany herself. She patted her guitar case and the lady smiled at her and wished her luck.
“Do you need a stand for your music?”
“No, I know it off by heart.”
And now she’d been called back and asked to sing again. She’d tuned up outside, and she began to play the introduction.
She could see Jasper Bowman – the lead singer in greenstone! – through the window, but she couldn’t tell what he was thinking of her playing. She took a deep breath and began to sing.“Honey, I’ll buy you a villa in France.
You can sit in the sun, watch the waves dance.
So will you be my poppet and my sweet?
And will you be my sugar candy treat?”
She wasn’t expecting the reaction she got. Jasper Bowman stormed out of the control room.
“Where did you get that song from?” His tone of voice suggested he thought she’d stolen it.
She dropped her guitar, scared by his dark scowling face.“I’ve known it all my life.” Her voice trembled, but she fought to steady it. “It’s my song.”
Her courage returned a little as she thought of her mother giving it to her.
“My mother gave it to me.”
And now she was glaring back at him, even as someone else came running out of the control room.
“Well, I think this young lady has just proved she’s not the right type of person for this project, so let’s just get her out of here shall we, and tear up her application, and send the next candidate in shall we?”
“Just a minute, Chris.” Jasper Bowman was speaking more gently now. “I think there’s something I need to know. Who is your mother, and when were you born?”
Amber wasn’t planning to tell him the answer to either of those questions, but the other guy in the control room had her audition form right in front of him. His voice came over the speaker.“Born 29th May, 15 years ago. Next of kin, mother, Elfrida Wright.”
He sagged as though someone had punched him.“You’re Elf’s daughter? But - why didn’t she tell me she was pregnant? Why did she run away? I would have taken care of you both.”
Amber couldn’t believe what she was hearing.“You? You’re the one who abandoned her! Who told her to ‘get in touch with your solicitors to arrange a paternity test.’ You?”
“I did no such thing! I looked for her, hunted for her, but she was gone and never wrote to me.”
“She’s still got the letter! She kept it in case I ever needed it! You abandoned her and nearly broke her heart!”
“And I don’t think I want anything to do with a father like that.”
Despite Amber’s heartfelt words, she found herself sitting in a little ante-room, talking to Jasper Bowman while Pete Ingleborough and Chris Deakin carried on with the auditions.“Tell me your mother’s side of the story, if you know it.”
So she told him the tale Elf had told her, not that long ago. Jasper was silent for a long time.
“And now I’ll tell you my side of it.” And he told Amber about the silence from Elf, his searching for her, and the total lack of clues as to her whereabouts.
“But I could find no trace of her. She’d vanished. Like a shadow.”“Shadow girl,” Amber said, shaken by a ghost of laughter.
“That was about Elf,” Jasper said, turning to look at her. “She was there, in my mind, all those years…” His voice trailed away.
Amber stood up – she always said she thought best when she was walking around.“But she did write to you about me. And someone opened that letter and wrote back pretending to be you.” She believed Jasper’s story. His shock and his pain were too obviously real. “So who was it?”
Jasper suddenly leapt to his feet and ran through the door – Amber following close after him.
Even in his anger, he waited until the red recording light had gone off and the next candidate had left the studio before he went in and stormed towards Chris Deakin.“I think you might have a bit of explaining to do,” Jasper said, in tones of menace.
“Well? I’m waiting.” And not very patiently either, said his tone. Amber looked at Chris Deakin, and had never seen anyone look so patently shifty.“I really don’t know what you’re talking about. And I don’t think you should take any wild claims this young lady is making too seriously. There’s always people who’ll want to cash in on your fame any way they can…”
“Yes. There are always people who’ll want to cash in on me. And if I find out that you are behind this, you won’t be one of them any more.” Amber shivered at Jasper’s tone.
But his voice was quite different as he turned and spoke to her.“Did Elf bring you here?”
“She doesn’t even know I’ve come. She said I couldn’t send in a CD, but I did anyway. She thinks I’m with a friend all day today – the one I’m having a sleepover with tonight.”
“I’ll run you back after the auditions are over. And tomorrow you have to tell Elf what you did.”
“Well, at least now I know why she wouldn’t let me send in a CD!” Amber laughed shakily.
Jasper’s face lit up suddenly. “You’ve got a fantastic voice, and you use it really well. If Elf will let you, we definitely want you singing with us.”
“Mum, I’ve got something to tell you.”“Yes. Those aren’t your clothes.”
“No, they’re Laura’s. We swopped – only for a bit, not for good! That’s not it. Mum, this is really difficult…I met my father at the weekend. I met Jasper.”
“You what?!”“I met Jasper. And he never got your letter telling him you were pregnant, and he didn’t write that letter back to you. Mum, you know Shadow Girl? He wrote it about you!”
I couldn’t take in, couldn’t believe what Amber was saying. But she knew Jasper’s name, and I’d never told it to her. We sat down together, and I made her tell me the whole story. And the upshot of it was that I agreed to meet Jasper with her.
“It’s not because he’s famous. It’s because he’s my father. I think I’d like to get to know him.”
The first meeting was a bit of a disaster. We met in a fancy hotel, and had to be smuggled upstairs to greenstone’s suite because of the small but definite – and growing – crowd of fans that were outside. It all felt stilted and unnatural, and the interruptions were constant. We looked at each other, disappointed, as we left.
Then my phone rang, and it was Jasper.“That was a total train-wreck,” he said ruefully, sounding much more like the Jasper I remembered. “Chris Deakins is ‘on holiday’ while I get to the bottom of what really happened, but the place is descending into chaos without him. Can you get the next weekend off, and can we spend it somewhere more private, just the three of us? But I warn you, the place I’m thinking of isn’t at all fancy – in fact it’s seriously basic. But quiet.”
My heart lifted. Amber had been so upset by this meeting – I could see it in her face. I wanted to give her another, better, chance to get to know her father.
When we arrived, Jasper came out to greet us and then turned to indicate the house.“I did warn you it was nothing fancy, didn’t I?”
And I had to admit, he had been right. I hoped the beds were okay! But it wasn’t as intimidating as the hotel had been, and Amber looked happier already. Jasper led the way into the house, and I followed, wondering what this weekend would have in store for us all.
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